Posts Tagged ‘Jehovah’s Witnesses’
Putting childhood things away as a child because of religion
How I open my apostasy story has stuck in some people’s minds:
I was nine years old when childish things were put away.
I watched my toys being packed up and sealed into a cardboard box. Presents from Christmas, like my treasured Millennium Falcon and X-Wing fighters, bought after watching Star Wars for the first time and my given-for-birthday Spectrum games where I fought valiantly against hordes of ghosts and monsters to save the damsel in distress.
The selection was made by an elder who would decide if the toys were to be buried or burnt. They were chosen on the basis of whether they suggested a power beyond that of Jehovah – blasphemy for Jehovah’s Witnesses like us – or evoked the occult and satanic machinations. Even Pacman could not escape this moral maze.
The full story, as part of the Apostasy Project can be read here.
A commentator has kindly shown a video produced by the Jehovah’s Witnesses that demonstrates how to reason with a child to give up playing with a toy that goes against Jehovah.
It is a typical “role play” like style we did at Theocratic Ministry School to learn to convert people to our way of thinking.
This is childhood indoctrination. This is child abuse.
Please support the apostasy project.
Article written by John Sargeant on Homo economicus’ Weblog
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Apostasy Project
I hope that you will consider supporting the Apostasy Project that has recently started in the UK. The idea is providing a resource for those looking to leave their faith but needing help, advice and support to do so.
As part of that Alom Shaha (author Young Person’s Guide to Atheism) encouraged me to submit my story of leaving the Jehovah’s Witnesses as a child, and Casper Melville (Rationalist Association) edited my story from two parts to a manageable one.
Thanks to both and the Rational Association for bringing that account to a wider audience and making the Apostasy Project a reality.
You can read my apostasy story here.
If you have come here from reading my story, the blog here covers atheism, secularism and religion – and occasionally other things that provoke my interest, fury and sometimes both. Have a look round and if you like what you see do subscribe.
Article written by John Sargeant on Homo economicus’ Weblog
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A Journey into Apostasy – a brave new world
The journey picks up where we left off, on my becoming an apostate. The first part of the journey – studying with the Jehovah’s Witnesses and leaving can be read here.
Above: My companions while taught at home
Even now twenty years on I can trace the route of my father’s tears of joy as I told him the news we had left the study of Jehovah’s Witnesses, on one of his weekly visits to see me. For years he had not let on his true feelings: regarding my being taught at home or being so close to baptism, and demanding a blood transfusion if needed. He feared not being allowed to see me or my brother had his displeasure been realised. His amateur dramatics in local Gilbert and Sullivan productions had paid off in his once a week performance as Dad. Shows like Princess Ida which no one could stop me seeing now. It was roughly a year or so after the divorce that mum had accepted the bible study. Timing is, as they say, everything as to what happens in your life. It felt like six years of mine had been wasted.
The biggest loss was a religious community, even though it had enforced every facet of belief on my child self. Our lodger was tolerated by the elders of the congregation because he did not “practise” his homosexuality at our home and used the back door to enter his part of the house. Word play is something he taught me, together with an appreciation for Douglas Adams, which I shall always be grateful for. There was no one else, besides him and my father outside the faith because “bad associations spoil useful habits.” Satan and his minions were considered able to use people outside the faith to get you to leave. Apostates are willing agents of the evil one by this reckoning.
There was no one to talk too about losing my religion. My mother had been concerned I would be the one still committed. However we reacted very differently on leaving. She still believed Jehovah existed, but the Society had failed to represent him. My own view was initially a deist but I had my work cut out learning about other faiths and whether science had answers that scripture did not know, before I could be sure of anything. Our views drifted further in time and my future atheism would distress her. She still read the Society publications, whilst I did not even want them on the book shelf. I had realised how easy it was to believe passionately in something that was not worthy of such devotion.

Playing as a war god to be worshipped on a new planet – definite NO
The congregation did shun, literally not talking or meeting with us, save for contact three months later by a ministerial servant (one down from an elder) seeing how we all were. With glee I happened to be playing the strategy god war game Mega-lo-mania on my newly acquired Mega Drive and thought – here is one game you are not burning. Note that playing card games or chess were not allowed because of the tarot origins of cards and the military aspect of chess. Naturally I bought books to learn card games and taught myself to play chess to fill in the spare time I now had by not attending or preparing for eight hours worth of meetings each week.
Being taught at home meant I had no other children to talk too accept at the Kingdom Hall and study meetings. What was now available to openly explore in the world had exponentially increased while the known population had dramatically declined. This was made harsher because I had no childhood friends to call on having existed mainly in a world of suited men and well dressed women old enough to adopt me. Those people from my childhood no longer existed.
Like the elder who led our local weekly study group who I called Uncle (his idea not mine) who grilled me on my bible knowledge; a challenge I revelled in showing off on. The other elder old enough to be my grandfather who used to take me weekly for swimming and diving – his dives from the top board were legendary in the swimming baths. My mother as a single parent with a younger disabled son could not provide such social outlets. To avoid being lonely I read books – but I was now alone.
My private study on evolution reading Richard Dawkins, and desire to go back to school to obtain qualifications, destroyed the relationship with my mother. With the TV aerial back on the roof (absent for two years because of “evil TV”) she shouted at David Attenborough whenever he said “evolution” on his wildlife documentaries. I was no longer turning to her for advice or counsel, nor able to help with the care of my brother when at secondary school as I had when taught at home. I was hitting the library as somewhere to do homework without the distractions of family life. Plus I finally discovered why Ford Prefect liked parties as I socialised. There was resentment too on my part that she had been so gullible to believe what the Jehovah’s Witnesses said. I mourned a childhood of no celebration and no friends to speak of. My adolescent self was being reborn in a brave new world.

Even chess was off limits with the military undertones – yet I could read Old Testament
Going back to secondary school seven months after leaving the faith helped in so many ways beyond obtaining qualifications. There was bullying to start with as the new kid (though I had been there for two terms four years previous). Being in the school play changed everything – there was a camaraderie and sense of belonging with my own peer group. Plus it helped me to understand why my father had the acting bug. I also became the chess captain when chess had a brief resurgence as Britain’s Nigel Short took on the Russian Thinking Machine that is Gary Kasparov.
Without that lifeline provided by teachers who really did look out for my education and gaining life experiences – I honestly do not know what story I would be writing now. My mind was made up that I would achieve something that nobody in my family had done before – attend university. Something which is a low priority when you think the end of the world is soon to be upon you.
It took me five years to get over instincts that constant mind training at meetings had installed on an impressionable young mind. In adult life I have twice on the off chance met people like myself who grew up in the faith only to leave. They had not met someone else like themselves, and the ability to talk about these things with someone who knew first hand was one I wish my adolescent self had access to.
Social media via the Internet makes talking to such people possible now. I hope people take advantage of it. That is why the apostasy project is so important. However, when you are brought up to consider apostates as capable of being a shining light while working for the dark evil one, none of us should take for granted how difficult it is for someone with doubts to reach out.
Article written by John Sargeant on Homo economicus’ Weblog
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A journey into Apostasy – the beginning of the end
“Does Jehovah have as much delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obeying the voice of Jehovah? Look! To obey is better than a sacrifice.” – 1 Samuel 15:22
Watching your childhood toys being packed up invokes memories of an innocent age lost in a sea of time, preserved in a cardboard box. Presents from Christmas like the Millennium Falcon and X Wing fighters bought after watching Star Wars for the first time. Spectrum games given for your birthday where you fight valiantly against hordes of ghosts and monsters to save the damsel in distress.
I was still a child when such things were gathered, and what was chosen by an elder would be buried or burnt for all time. For those things above suggested a power beyond that of Jehovah, referencing the occult and satanic machinations. My mistake was playing one of my computer games where you collected a crystal ball during a visit by an elder. Even PAC man did not escape this moral maze. I was nine years old when childish things were put away.
The year before at school assembly we had thanked God for the rain. Which made me wonder, if God decided where the rain should fall, why was there drought and people starving as a result in Africa? If we were all God’s children we all deserved life giving water.
My mother did not have the answers. There were no science books at home, and the internet did not exist. That same evening there was a knock on the door by Jehovah’s Witnesses. She put the question to them, and their answer made her start a bible study with them.
By the time I was ten this study involved four meetings of two hours a week each, door to door ministry at the weekend and about 20 odd hours of personal study preparing for questions at meetings. At these meetings Watchtower and Bible Tract Society publications were read, and bibles checked to see scripture said what the publications referenced. My aim was to find the verse while the sound of rustling still resonated in the hall.
To prepare for the end of this system of things I was taught at home during high school. The aerial for the TV was removed to prevent watching subversive programming shortly after the first Iraq war. The end of days were clearly at hand were the mutterings of the faithful.
Not even one per cent of the population identifies as Jehovah’s Witnesses, and of all faith groups it has the biggest exodus of children once they are adults. My time came early having read subversively Douglas Adam’s Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. It had been banned by the elders because it suggested an alien race built the earth, not Jehovah, and for mice not us. The humorous quotes a lodger mentioned made me want to read.
Hitchhikers made me think how would I prove God not aliens made the earth? Researching Society publications for this ultimate answer unearthed instead prophecies made that did not happen during the 1920s. My head swooned. The bible warns against false prophets and to reject them. Plus new editions of books I had read changed dogma while quoting different scriptures. Once, those destroyed at Sodom and Gomorrah would be given a second chance after Judgement day in an old edition. Now, the new edition said they had already been judged for eternal destruction. There was no acknowledgement of the change – it just happened.
I was fourteen when my mother and I decided to leave. Her doubts started because she would not say “only those that call on the name of Jehovah will be saved”. She felt it was for God, not man, to make such judgements. So she was not allowed to go door to door.
Wonder and curiosity – these are qualities that made me to want to understand the world and universe I live in. For me there is a greater comfort in knowing we are working to reduce suffering caused by disease than thinking God will end this but probably kill 99% of the living population in the process.
Those qualities are not childlike but essential qualities to go beyond unquestioned obedience and sacrifice.
I had gone from bible student to being regarded as an apostate. Despite the elders best efforts I found there was a richer world of knowledge, culture and humour than was imaginable in the Jehovah’s Witnesses.
For more on The Apostasy Project click here
Follow up blog: A Brave New World (on becoming an apostate)
Article written by John Sargeant on Homo economicus’ Weblog
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Covering should not be cowering
As a man, who has never been a Muslim, it may be quite easy to discount what I have to say ad hominem discussing the hijab, attitudes towards wearing and experiences in US and France – until you realise that the Jehovah’s Witnesses I studied with have a head covering requirement for women. My perspective is based on actual observation and experience from a different background.
1 Corinthians 11:2-15
King James Version
2 Now I praise you, brethren, that ye remember me in all things, and keep the ordinances, as I delivered them to you.
3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
4 Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head.
5 But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.
6 For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.
7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.
8 For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.
9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
10 For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.
11 Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.
12 For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God.
13 Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
14 Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?
15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.
Based on this if a sister led a prayer with a brother present she had to wear a head scarf. Usually this practise did not happen because a brother would always lead a prayer. The one occasion this did not happen, was in my presence, a few days after the elders were happy that I was ready for baptism. The sister that was to lead my mother and myself in prayer felt obliged to wear a headscarf when I was the only male present before we did a home bible study.
Then there was the time years before when a ministerial servant felt my hair was too long, and that it should be cut shorter. To be on the safe side I went for a crew cut. That should keep me on the right side for a few months I thought.
These experiences feel ridiculous now – if a woman could be a prophet why could she not lead a prayer without resorting to a piece of fabric on her head to be the equal of men? Long hair for a man – a matter of culture through the civilisations rather than a matter of divinely graded measurement.
The worse that could have happened? Disciplinary procedures, which could have resulted in shunning and being disfellowshipped. That would come under apostasy for rebelling against Society teaching of scripture.
The link above goes into great detail regarding the whole process this involves. We can say that religion is a voluntary process, but the impact is very real when part of such a community. Even though I chose to leave before going through with the baptism.
The baggage is real, and getting out of it a new way of thinking. Becoming chess school captain, main actor in school play, vice chair youth council – these things would be seen as commendable for a young person to be involved with. It would have been frowned upon or not allowed with the Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Issues of free choice, and lack of compulsion are at the heart of thinking about specific laws to prevent coercion – for example wearing the hijab in public. It misses that women may voluntarily choose to wear such items. The sister at the home study did not have to wear – I was a child and not yet a brother – she wanted to do this as her expression of faith.
Religious freedom means for me you may voluntarily choose to be part of a faith and there is no legal remit to follow religious doctrine. You can ask me to leave your church if my hair is too long, but you cannot deny me the right to walk the streets with my hair long.
The ability to speak for change should be open without reproach, yet the sect provision means you will be out of the Jehovah’s Witnesses for daring to suggest Society is wrong, or could do with a rethink. We were told to wait regarding women entering senior levels of ministry – rather than discuss.
The laws of the land should protect women from reprisals that endanger them. Specific laws targeting specific religions aimed at a specific gender homing in on a specific garments – suggest peculiar special treatment. We need to think carefully when thinking of such a law the liberty of someone that freely choses to practise their faith or express cultural identity is not affected on our streets.
Sisters should be choosing it for themselves. That is the bottom line.
We can still challenge the ideas that lie behind misogynistic thinking as expressed by Paul.
Article written by John Sargeant on Homo economicus’ Weblog
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Jehovah’s Witnesses benign?
A recent comment suggested that I should leave Jehovah’s Witnesses alone as they do not hurt anyone. My retort:
You mean like refusing a blood transfusion in a critical blood loss situation (including children) never hurts anyone?
Shunning of family members that leave the faith never hurt anyone?
Not automatically reporting child abuse to secular authorities, or having in place child safeguarding practises, never hurt anyone?
Changing dogma, prophecies that are false, women covering heads in submission to men should they lead over a brother in prayer, and women having no position of authority never hurt anyone?
Suggesting the United Nations, government agencies, non governmental agencies, are part of the evil system of things while not actively helping in humanitarian action for those outside the faith – never hurt anyone?
Everyone is free to have their religion and conscience. No one is entitled to cause harm and get away with it without comment.
Article written by John Sargeant on Homo economicus’ Weblog
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Life after Jehovah’s Witnesses
Leaving the Jehovah’s Witnesses is more than just losing your religion. When you are prepared to die for something, mentally geared up for the end of the world, it is more than culture shock. The ground giving way beneath your feet as you fall down a rabbit hole is more apt. This blog is summing up that experience with links to further blogs that cover that aspect.
Why people leave the Jehovah’s Witnesses will differ (you can read my experience here) yet there will be similarities in the readjustment to life outside of the Watchtower and Bible Tract Society – hereafter called Society.
The first, and most telling, is you are cut off from the people you would have socialised with 2-4 times a week at various meetings. The conversations and socialising outside the Kingdom Hall and study groups are very different. Plus having been warned “bad associations spoil useful habits” it takes time not to have an inner feeling that you will be led astray if not ever watchful.
That leads on to the habitual energy that comes from being a Jehovah’s Witness. To defend teaching against any line of argument and to think what the Society said on matters is second nature. Always on the lookout for the evil one. This mindset takes time to cast off.
So what to believe now? I remember reading a book that had all the photocopies of old Society publications that proved past prophecies were not only wrong but down right ludicrous. Yet after such excellent source material it tried to convince that the Trinity was true. Attempting deprograming in preparation for another belief system is not what you are after. Ideally you want support to come to terms with your past and how you feel now.
The advice I can give there is within the Society we were taught only everything published by them was true. Their false prophecies made me more skeptical of the printed word. I thus advocate a healthy skepticism of what something really proves, ask how do they know, and what would prove them wrong. This is not a negative outlook, but looking at the validity of claims and counter claims.
Leaving can mean being bereft of company, family members, even perhaps the presence of Jehovah in your life. This is what can haunt long after you have come to terms with the world and what you now believe or do not believe. Talking to those that have gone through the same experience may help. The Internet and social media is a tool, which may give the confidence to actually get back into real life like never before. There is no substitute for a family that accept you, but we have to move on with our lives. We need to recognise that as social beings best not done alone.
Being a Jehovah’s Witness is a full time job in terms of study, let alone how you think and what you do. You cannot just push that to one side. Take your time, and use those study skills to find out about life, the universe and everything.
Above all have fun. Cook yourself a lovely meal, buy that dress, rest on the couch and do nothing without feeling guilty. Whatever helps you get back in touch with yourself, community activism, water painting, or writing a blog, pursue and see where it takes you.
A purpose driven life, that does not involve the end of the world, awaits you. You have the right to find it. All the best on your onward journey.
Article written by John Sargeant on Homo economicus’ Weblog
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Knowledge and Discourse
The ability to talk to each other, trying to understand where someone’s argument comes from, and actively looking for the best case the opposite view can throw at you, is my idea of fun and learning from constructive criticism. If I am wrong, or have left something out I would rather be corrected, or commented on. Perhaps I need to be clearer in my views, or even rethink them.
Free speech is that you never know what you may need to hear. Filters that others put in place for your own good are easily subverted to control the flow of information. We must be on our guard, and acknowledge that debating in the light of day disinfects what can grow in the darkness of the underground unchallenged.
When on ministry for the Jehovah’s Witnesses as a child I was on the door step with an Elder (who led the local bible study group I attended). The lady that answered the door wanted to discuss blood transfusions but all the elder wanted to do was give her a little pamphlet on the promise of a paradise earth. I felt moved to answer her question (which gives me shivers now).
My answer was that the bible mentions not to digest blood. That medical reasons suggest blood is not always the best option (even the pope got sick having one after being shot) and the bible asks us to have faith even if it means our death. We have confidence in the promise that saved Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego when put into a burning furnace honouring only the true God, and the salvation through Jesus that should we die that will not be the end of us. She was moved and willingly took the magazine booklet about blood transfusions.
Whilst noting that booklet on my ministry report card, I was berated by the Elder. Did I not think he knew best, about planting a small seed that may bloom into salvation rather than my deluge of information that could flood away any hope of salvation? This tirade went on for five minutes, and only ended when I replied I was moved by the Holy Spirit to answer her question that she may see it was love for God that would make me willing to die and not the words of man.
I remember going home after ministry to my bed in tears. Looking back on it, I realise that he was right. Too much information may stop someone joining the faith, and answering questions should be about making someone want to join, not giving information as a witness for Jehovah. Yep, I guess the term Jehovah’s Witnesses led me astray. I thought the truth would set you free, rather than we must get membership numbers up.
Vowed to myself then and there that as much as I could, would give what I know and in the best ways I know how when circumstances are appropriate. Perhaps some may consider it showing off, that I am belittling their experience or knowledge. Misconstrue what my purpose is in doing so, even actively taking out of context what I am trying to say.
Which is that discourse, the sharing of information and knowledge is the best way of developing human thought and keeping our inquiry honest. This applies to those you count as with or against you.
Article written by John Sargeant on Homo economicus’ Weblog
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An excuse for crying wolf from the Jehovah’s Witnesses
From Watchtower January 2013:
HAVE JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES GIVEN INCORRECT DATES FOR THE END?
Jehovah’s Witnesses have had wrong expectations about when the end would come. Like Jesus’ first-century disciples, we have sometimes looked forward to the fulfillment of prophecy ahead of God’s timetable. (Luke 19:11; Acts 1:6; 2 Thessalonians 2:1, 2) We agree with the sentiment of longtime Witness A. H. Macmillan, who said: “I learned that we should admit our mistakes and continue searching God’s Word for more enlightenment.”Why, then, do we continue to highlight the nearness of the end? Because we take seriously Jesus’ words: “Keep looking, keep awake.” The alternative, to be found “sleeping” by Jesus, would prevent us from gaining his favor. (Mark 13:33, 36) Why?
Consider this example: A lookout in a fire tower might see what he thinks is a wisp of smoke on the horizon and sound what proves to be a false alarm. Later, though, his alertness could save lives.
Likewise, we have had some wrong expectations about the end. But we are more concerned with obeying Jesus and saving lives than with avoiding criticism. Jesus’ command to “give a thorough witness” compels us to warn others about the end.—Acts 10:42.
We believe that even more important than focusing on when the end will come, we must be confident that it will come, and we must act accordingly. We take seriously the words of Habakkuk 2:3, which says: “Even if [the end] should delay [compared to what you thought], keep in expectation of it; for it will without fail come true. It will not be late.”
Analogies can be used so wrongly. Someone that keeps giving false alarms begins to lack credibility that they know what they are doing. Also, that their future alarms will not be heeded. One reason that two thirds of people brought up in the Jehovah’s Witnesses leave according to Pew.
If you sincerely believe you are the truth, and your past predictions have led to the “falling away” from the truth for many, you may want to give a sincere apology and ask for public forgiveness of Jehovah and humanity you have condemned to supposed destruction come Armageddon.
This is not just about accepting criticism. The organisation encouraged people not to marry, or have children with Armageddon so near. That the only thing that mattered was service to Jehovah as directed by the Society, so careers, education and dreams were of secondary importance to complete devotion.
Hopefully, people will see such leadership as cult behaviour.
See previous blog for history of predictions by the Society which never came to pass.
Thanks to William E Enoch Sr for mentioning the publication and Godfrey Freeman for the link.
Article written by John Sargeant on Homo economicus’ Weblog
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