Ever wanted to join those prophets of old, that called on fire to rain from heaven or had cities quacking with fear? Your first step may be to become a diploma wielding Jewish soothsayer, for about $50, in Tel Aviv:
Anyone looking in the curriculum for “Parting the Sea 101” or “How to Predict the Future” or even “Principles of Proclaiming A Jeremiad” will be disappointed. Instead, students learn about the meaning of dreams, the classification of angels, the mysteries of the holy spirit. They learn how to discern a person’s inner feelings from his or her external behavior and appearance.
Hapartzy can’t guarantee his course will give his students a direct line to God. But, he says, the syllabus provides the essential tools to bring out the prophet in anyone.
Here is one bit of prophecy for free: the fool and their money are easily parted.
Just be warned that prophets do not always have an easy life, especially if they meet rivals like Elijah above who just might slaughter you if for failing to prove the God is on your side. 1 Kings 18:25-29 for the full story.
Read the bible. Gives you a crash course at a fraction of the cost on how to act, talk and dress for the part. Sane people need not apply.
Article written by John Sargeant on Homo economicus’ Weblog