Vile Letter To A Mother With a Disabled Child – And My Reply

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Dear Pissed Off Mother,

This lady also lives in the neighbourhood. Not only does she have to look after someone who has severe learning difficulties – something you clearly cannot comprehend with your “normal” children – she now has you to contend with.

How selfish of her to let the boy out for fresh air. Has it occurred to you that she maybe cannot on her own take her son out?

Is the neighbourhood trying to see if they can assist in the quality of life of mother and son, so they can access the nature trail? Somehow I doubt this when you cannot even be bothered to find out the names of the lady and her son.

The noise can be monotonous – thank goodness you only hear it when he is outside. Not in the early hours of the morning or late at night as his mother has to. Your hatred blinds you that it is quite normal for a mother to protect as best she can her son and love him – as a mother your lack of empathy is only matched by the raving quality of your penmanship.

Having lauded the normality of your own children you feel the need to tell her of the experiences as a mother she will never get to have with her own son possibly. I say possibly, because I question your expertise in being informed on these things.

As you charmingly put it:

“they should take whatever non retarded body parts he possesses and donate it to science.”

For you to deal with people in the community I suggest you vamoose (two o’s by the way) to a learning disability awareness workshop and possibly a biology lecture. We can hope cured of your ignorance you may be fit to rejoin the human race. It may be too late.

You do not need guts to tell someone to move – just vile hatred, lack of empathy and a sickness of the mind to think and communicate such thoughts.

“Do the right thing and move or euthanize him!!! Either way, we are ALL better off!!!”

We are all better off looking out for the most vulnerable in our society. You had a chance to fulfil the promise of humanity and reach out to another mother to see what anyone could do to help, to understand the situation.

You failed spectacularly to reach the expectations of being a person, an empathetic mother and a decent human being. Your shame is your own, not hers.

Do the right thing and try to be human. NOW!!

Sincerely,

One pissed off brother, full time carer of.

[Update: link to full story on Mail Online]

Update 20 August 3pm:

Seems the boy Max Begley was actually staying at his Grandmothers. His mother has multiple sclerosis which makes the job of caring for him that much harder.

The Independent reports neighbours rallying round supporting Max’s right to play outside.

There is also an attempt to find the anonymous letter writer.

Check out the reward mentioned in comments here.

Thanks to Jonathan Cornick – @jonathancornick – for latest link. Also to Steve Grundy – @SteveGrundy007 – for mentioning Mail Online.

Article written by John Sargeant on Homo economicus’ Weblog

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4 Comments

Filed under British Society, World

4 responses to “Vile Letter To A Mother With a Disabled Child – And My Reply

  1. What a contemptible thing to do.

  2. This is an open statement to the author of that letter.
    The statements that you have made are insensitive, hurtful and demonstrate a juvenile mentality. People with Autism, are still people. Though not always apparent they have feelings just like you.
    I understand your frustration with your neighbor’s behavior. Children with disabilities can be frustrating, and exhausting. I say this from experience; I am raising a son with autism. It is difficult but having him in my life has given me a greater sense of humanity that I otherwise would not have. You should open yourself up to acceptance of his diversity; clearly you could benefit from a greater sense of humanity yourself.
    Take a moment and try to understand the frustration that this boy experiences every day. Like any child, like your children, he has needs, but he does not have the ability to express them, at least not in a way that most people can understand. The voice inside his head is screaming for someone to help him, understand him, accept him; but when he tries to speak all he can produce is the “noise” that you complain about. He hears it too; it is not the sound he wants to make. If he had the ability to articulate his needs verbally, like your “normal” children he would.
    You are a coward. Everyone has the right to speak their minds. If you had taken ownership of your statements I would not hesitate to defend that right, but you have not. You have chosen to hide behind anonymity. If you lack shame for the hurtful things you have said you should at least be ashamed that you are not taking responsibility for them.
    I will not hide my identity; I take full responsibility for everything that I say. My name is Wade Huntley, I live in West Jordan Utah, I operate a website: http://www.avoiceformyson.com where my contact information can be found. You are welcome to contact me yourself. Be warned that I may post any communications that I receive from you and if you reveal your identity to me I will disclose it publicly.
    Finally, I am making an open offer of $100(USD) to anyone that can positively identify you as the author of this letter. It isn’t much but it is all that I can afford. Given the hurtful things that you have said I doubt it will require any reward for someone to reveal who you are. If I am able to confirm your identity I will post it publicly on my site and I will provide it to your local news stations.

    Wade Huntley
    Proud father of an autistic child

  3. Andrew

    I’ve chosen not to have kids of my own for medical reasons. Autism is on of them. Speaking from my own experience autism is very difficult to deal with depending on the level the 1 case a person has. I worked in a retail environment for almost 9 years. We had a customer with an ADOPTIVE son with autism. He wasn’t disruptive at ALL. The so called normal kids that came in were extremely disruptive. Often once it was learned her son had this disorder we did everything possible to help her along with him.

  4. Jonathan

    Great response, John!

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