Jesus Jukes – An Atheists Response


The concept of a Jesus Juke will be familiar. It is how someone casually slips into the conversation that they are at that moment more au fait with Christ than you. Obnoxious enough done to another Christian, down right insult to an atheist.

7 Obnoxious Jesus Jukes goes into this from a Christian counter perspective. Thought I would answer them from my own heathen non turning the either cheek, you have the dirt of the earth if you like, perspective.

1) “Why do you make things so complicated? The answer is Jesus.”

Nothing like turning a situation anyone can find themselves in and saying consolation and acceptance is faith. Yet that never ends the question. Children being born with bone cancer does not strike me as the answer being Jesus.

Life is very complicated, and simplistic solutions can be much worse than recognising the complexity of a problem.

A sense of proportion to the problems in the world is invaluable to lend some perspective.

2) “You seem to be interested in what people want, but what about what God wants?”

Anyone who claims to know what God wants, and to give you a list from, is not only arrogant but possibly delusional. Treat with extreme caution and skepticism.

3) “You worry too much. God will take care of it.”

Parents who prayed rather than called for an ambulance for their children literally took this advice. If you can do something about it than do it. If you cannot than take the time to accept and move on. Use worry as an alarm call to act and think – not to procrastinate or ignore.

4) “You know, I used to talk the way you do back when I was a fundamentalist/liberal/etc.”

You really have no idea about me … Apostate and loving it. Never again.

5) “When I had your problem, I read [insert Bible verse] and everything made sense after that.”

Funnily enough that also helped me realise screwed up people like myself were writing the bible. Other books are available.

6) “I guess I just believe that Jesus meant what he said about hell/poor people/other topic.”

You haven’t read “Zealot” by Reza Aslan have you? Or the other books on historic and Christ version of Jesus. Go for it. Get the man, not the Son of God.

7) [A long, non-sequitur string of scripture references without commentary that generally involve some kind of prophetic “warning” of apocalyptic destruction that has nothing to do with the topic at hand.]

Gently head towards the exit, and do not look back … remain calm.

Article written by John Sargeant on Homo economicus’ Weblog

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Filed under atheism, Humour, Religion

5 responses to “Jesus Jukes – An Atheists Response

  1. alex

    I understand this was meant to be satirical/amusing but the earnestness of the responses match that of the comments. Perhaps it would be a little more relevent in a US context?

  2. Teej42

    I find it fascinating when an atheist, such as yourself, is so extremely involved in trying to convince Christians that their faith is bogus. Why does it bother you so much. Why is it you don’t go after any other religion, just Christians? Is it because it is just so easy to jump on the Christian bashing bandwagon these days? Leave them alone. Let them believe in their risen Lord and you can believe as you please. Their beliefs don’t hurt anyone and neither do yours (as long as you stop trying to obliterate anything Christian from the public square), so live and let live. The United States was founded on the principle of freedom OF religion, not freedom from religion as so many of you like to proclaim. Like it or not, this country is more “religious” than atheist, just as Iran is more Muslim than anything else. Try going there and insisting on fighting everything they have believed for thousands of years. You wouldn’t do that because you would be too afraid, but you know you don’t have to be worried about backlash or threats from Christians here, so you bully them. It’s cowardly, and quite common among those who believe only in things they can see, touch, smell, taste, hear or feel like believing in, and anything else that some fallible scientists tell you is true.

  3. Try reading the blog where I cover other faiths, and promote religious freedom including in the public space.

    I am comfortable rejecting religious belief. No apologies if that makes you uncomfortable.

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