The concept of a Jesus Juke will be familiar. It is how someone casually slips into the conversation that they are at that moment more au fait with Christ than you. Obnoxious enough done to another Christian, down right insult to an atheist.
7 Obnoxious Jesus Jukes goes into this from a Christian counter perspective. Thought I would answer them from my own heathen non turning the either cheek, you have the dirt of the earth if you like, perspective.
1) “Why do you make things so complicated? The answer is Jesus.”
Nothing like turning a situation anyone can find themselves in and saying consolation and acceptance is faith. Yet that never ends the question. Children being born with bone cancer does not strike me as the answer being Jesus.
Life is very complicated, and simplistic solutions can be much worse than recognising the complexity of a problem.
A sense of proportion to the problems in the world is invaluable to lend some perspective.
2) “You seem to be interested in what people want, but what about what God wants?”
Anyone who claims to know what God wants, and to give you a list from, is not only arrogant but possibly delusional. Treat with extreme caution and skepticism.
3) “You worry too much. God will take care of it.”
Parents who prayed rather than called for an ambulance for their children literally took this advice. If you can do something about it than do it. If you cannot than take the time to accept and move on. Use worry as an alarm call to act and think – not to procrastinate or ignore.
4) “You know, I used to talk the way you do back when I was a fundamentalist/liberal/etc.”
You really have no idea about me … Apostate and loving it. Never again.
5) “When I had your problem, I read [insert Bible verse] and everything made sense after that.”
Funnily enough that also helped me realise screwed up people like myself were writing the bible. Other books are available.
6) “I guess I just believe that Jesus meant what he said about hell/poor people/other topic.”
You haven’t read “Zealot” by Reza Aslan have you? Or the other books on historic and Christ version of Jesus. Go for it. Get the man, not the Son of God.
7) [A long, non-sequitur string of scripture references without commentary that generally involve some kind of prophetic “warning” of apocalyptic destruction that has nothing to do with the topic at hand.]
Gently head towards the exit, and do not look back … remain calm.
Article written by John Sargeant on Homo economicus’ Weblog
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